Wakefulness when we are supposed to be sleeping, when we will ourselves to sleep, but to no avail. Wakefulness when we know we will be exhausted come morning because we need this sleep — this reclusive elusive sleep. We've all experienced a sleepless night here and there. What's a person to do?
Panic set in. We hadn't pulled our garbage to the curb. Did we — gulp — miss garbage day? I was now wide awake approximately 90 minutes before my regular getting-up time. If that's not a way no one wants to start their day, I'm not sure what is. But back to garbage day. Was it ours? I hoped not.
This wasn't the first time I've encountered this type of situation — seeing someone you know you know, but you don't know from where because they are out of place. I'm sure no one reading this can in any way relate. But I hope so. Perhaps I've even been out of place myself at some times. I wouldn't know, but it's probable — someone seeing me and knowing me, but not knowing me all at the same time.
I came to the conclusion that I was glad to have the knowledge acquired over the years. I was glad to be where I am now — the who am now instead of the who I was then. This surprised me — this contentedness about time because I've always been one to fight time. I remember didn't want to be 30 because I didn't want to grow older. Same goes for 40 and each year after that. I fought the number that defined my age because I didn't like the direction it was going.
Even though motherhood has been the most difficult job in her life, sometimes she wishes she could go back in time and do it all over again. So she could read you one more bedtime story. Cuddle you in her lap. Kiss one more boo-boo. Rock you to sleep. Smell your sweet baby breath. But then she thinks, "no." Because that would change the here and now and the person you have grown into and become is pretty darn awesome and she wouldn't change that for a minute.
Take heed, newlyweds! Together we raised four kids, three of them sons. As I watch them grow into men, I hope we've provided them with the insight, patience and fortitude needed to create a successful marriage some day.
My husband hasn't been in a store for an hour since 1992. We went in for one item, left with seven and managed to lose each other three times — all in the span of 60 minutes.
I look up to my husband. Always have.
Life is tough enough without us beating ourselves up over the likes of the laundry. I suggest (humbly) that we try/attempt to see the glass as half-full and give ourselves a break when we make a mistake or fall short of our goals.
Parenthood: The future wouldn't exist without it. But it is hard, sometimes. Oh, lots of times it is hard. And I'm reliving it just a bit through my daughter and son-in-law. First a caveat: She and her husband are infinitely glad for the privilege to be parents. They wouldn't give it up for the world. Neither would I.