Slices of life: Holiday shopping and shopping and shopping
It's the gift-giving season. And who doesn't enjoy giving a good gift? I certainly do. Problem is, I get sucked in. It happens every year.
I start around the end of November with a cool head and practical intentions. I will get people only the things they really need. Nothing more. I am sure of my doggedness; my willpower is strong. My budget set.
But buying gifts is sort of like rolling a snowball downhill. Once you get the momentum going, it's hard to stop. This is compounded by the temptations that lie lurking online, on television ads and in the stores.
Already this year, I've been enticed by some doozies. They are hard to resist items that I'm sure I desperately need (or someone on my gift list desperately needs), even though I didn't know said items existed before I learned of the need. There's logic in there somewhere.
More than a few potential gifts pertain to pets.
You can get a sterling silver pendant that is cast to duplicate a photo of your dog or cat.
Alternatively, you could opt for the custom pillow, also made in the likeness of your feline or canine friend.
Or, I suppose you could send them a photo of your fish.
There's no limit to creativity when it comes to pet likenesses on household items.
There is a ceramic cat tissue holder that dispenses tissues from the cat's backside. #conversationpiece.
A dogbrella and catnip joints (100 percent legal) are sure to be a hit.
While the pet products are mostly for show (except the tissue holder), there are numerous multitaskers that can make anyone's life easier. There's the ironing board that doubles as a full-length mirror. One side for pressing clothes; the other for self-impression.
Kitchen shears with an attached cutting board make slicing and dicing as easy as grabbing a tissue from a cat's butt. And I don't even have to explain the duo functionality of the men's dress tie with attached flask.
The worst thing about a candle is you burn it and it's gone. This isn't the case with the resilient and ingenious reusable candle. As it burns, the wax melts and drips into a compartment under the candle. After the candle has burned all the way down, you flip the whole thing over and burn again. It's a twofer.
Some gifts, albeit clever and fun, are dreaded unitaskers. They perform just one function. Still they might be the perfect choice for someone on your list. Take the triceratops taco holder (really, please — take it). I didn't even know dinosaurs liked Mexican food.
If your family is like mine and eats all the ice cream before you get a chance to get even one scoop you could invest in the security-minded ice cream lock. No more hiding the ice cream; lock it up! Just make sure you don't lose the key.
Other notable options include beer-flavored jelly beans, bacon-flavored candy canes, a big foot car air freshener and a disco ball that attaches to any smart phone. Welcome back to the 1980s!
The fanny pack made to look like a chubby belly might be the perfect gift for Uncle Larry, and a levitation plant holder that uses magnets to float is actually pretty cool. Who am I kidding? They are all cool.
Shopping for the perfect holiday gifts is a never-ending task. I've been done for days, but still, I continue — just looking. I can't stop myself. At this point, I'm like a great big snowball rolling at breakneck speed.
Dec. 25 can't get here fast enough.
Cloquet resident Jill Pertler is an award-winning syndicated columnist, published playwright, author and member of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. Follow the "Slices of Life" page on Facebook.