The Pine Pulse... So many channels, so little time

Talk about it

On Sunday, a whole new world opened up to me while I sat in true couch-potato form in my living room.

Because of a blunder the communications company made with our Internet service, they gave us three months of the so-called premium cable channels to surf at our leisure.

As much as I wanted to think that was a kind gesture, my inner cynic told me it was really a marketing plot designed to suck me so deep into the premium channel habit that after the three months, I would more-than-happily pay for it for the rest of time.

As I resolved that it would only be a three-month treat, I picked up the remote to see what I now had access to. I felt like I was let in the back door of an exclusive club and I was ready to make the most of it.

I started the adventure on Channel 2. Since I had no listing of which channels were added, I figured I’d just press the ‘channel up’ button until the numbers rolled back over to 2.

First it was fascinating. Here were all the channels I’d seen scrolling on the TV Guide channel, but never could watch. The cable people (who seem to me have a sort of a Wizard-of-Oz quality) had seemingly unlocked every channel.

I looked at every offering for at least a few seconds before moving on up. The thrill began wearing off a little, however, as I reached channels in the 300s.

Then a friend called and told me some of the best movie channels were up in the 600 and 700 range.

What?

How could this be so novel to an editor from the MTV generation? For starters, I was one of those deprived children who grew up without cable.

I saw it at the homes of friends and while on vacations, but largely it escaped me. When people refer to old music videos from the ‘80s, I am slightly embarrassed to say I can’t relate.

Even now, as I run all the glorious cable offerings through my ‘vintage’ (read from the 1980s-ancient) VCR/television set-up, I am thinking it’s not too late to catch up on my MTV knowledge.

But first I have to find the channel. I have three months.